Modern day teevee

in many ways, modern day television is becoming more and more a search for fresh, untried concepts, in order to keep audiences guessing.

many shows that have brought something a little different to the table have prospered, such as lost, top gear, the big bang theory and modern family.

Not all of these unproven ideas have been met with critical acclaim however. There have been plenty of stinkers crop of up late, as the tv game becomes more and more 'hit and miss'.
Examples? The farmer wants a wife, beauty and the geek, jersey shore, cougar town.

What really had me stirring was a new show I came across one night on foxtel. It's known as 'dating in the dark', and may be the worst one yet.

Dating in the Dark was invented by the Dutch. a side-effect of legalising marijuana seems to be that you come up with inane reality television.

The show is about six contestants, who go on dates with each other in a darkened room so that they have no inkling about the others physical appearance. eventually the appearance of the others is revealed, and they can decide whether they want to pursue the relationship.

honestly, it comes across as a sort of half thought out idea that has been stretched out to 40 minute episodes, and sadly, a second season. Reading up on the show; it seems as repetitive as deal or no deal. The contestants go on date after date with the same person they initially selected, making the same sort of awkward conversations, until they finally have to decide if they want to go on another date outside.

another problem is that the sort of people who tend to audition for trainwrecks like this are idiots. this show would struggle even if the contestants were of Pat rafter calibre; so when you factor in that the contestants are a bunch of idiots and you are left to watch on in grainy black and white, well, houston, we have a problem.

Overall, there have been plenty of great shows in the past decade; but plenty of shit ones as well. Let's just hope that shows of the dating in the dark ilk no longer make it to air, we'd all be better off.

Top 100 movies of all time.

I could have sworn I'd uploaded this already.. but apparently I haven't.
Anyway, I've had a top 100 list for a while, but I went through it all recently and the end result in the revamped version below. Being a youngster, my list is sort of favoured to 90s movies ( oldies such as Citizen Kane, Casablanca etc. missed out), but it's still a pretty useful compilation.

1. American History X
2. Seven
3. Shawshank Redemption
4. Primal Fear
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
6. Donnie Darko
7. City Of God
8. A Time To Kill
9. The Lucky Number Slevin
10. Fight Club
11. The Chumscrubber
12. Home Alone
13. E.T
14. Pulp Fiction
15. Big Fish
16. The Boy With The Striped Pyjamas
17. 12 Angry Men
18. Forrest Gump
19. The Prestige
20. Gran Torino
21. Reservoir Dogs
22. Four Brothers
23. Sleepers
24. Trainspotting
25. Seven Pounds
26. Schindler's List
27. The Green Mile
28. Remember The Titans
29. Along Came A Spider
30. Con Air
31. The Terminal
32. Men Of Honour
33. Silence Of The Lambs
34. Slumdog Millionaire
35. Titanic
36. Kill Bill
37. Reign Over Me
38. The Accused
39. The Lives of Others
40. Kiss The Girls
41. Requiem For A Dream
42. Ocean's Eleven
43. Happy Gilmore
44. Hook
45. Precious
46. Toy Story
47. The Bourne Identity
48. Superbad
49. Enemy Of The State
50. Mr. Brooks
51. The Basketball Diaries
52. Shaun Of the Dead
53. The Deep End of The Ocean
54. Hotel Rwanda
55. Garden State
56. The Pursuit of Happyness
57. Fargo
58. The Departed
59. Seabiscuit
60. Cast Away
61. American Psycho
62. V For Vendetta
63. The Hangover
64. The Patriot
65. No Country For Old Men
66. Goodfellas
67. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
68. Children Of Men
69. A Few Good Men
70. Blood Diamond
71. Basic Instinct
72. Green Street Hooligans
73. Coach Carter
74. Boyz n The Hood
75. The Usual Suspects
76. Punch Drunk Love
77. Secret Window
78. The Wizard Of Oz
79. The Mighty
80. Insomnia
81. The Machinist
82. Billy Elliot
83. Alexandra’s Project
84. Philadelphia
85. Vantage Point
86. The Lion King
87. Good Will Hunting
88. Catch Me If You Can
89. The Butterfly Effect
90. Oldboy
91. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
92. Brokeback Mountain
93. Hard Candy
94. Being John Malkovich
95. Memento
96. Gladiator
97. LA Confidential
98. Unforgiven
99. The Wrestler
100. Man On Wire

patrick bateman.

I'm back. Patrick Bateman never left however.

"I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion."

my cockatiel.

There was a new development with my cockatiel recently, which made me realise how mildly interesting the saga had become.. so a blog beckoned.

So we acquired this small parrot about two months ago now, and it had been all smooth sailing until he took a tumble a couple of weeks ago courtesy of my sister. His wings had previously been taped together to stop him flying around the house, so when he was knocked off his perch he fell pretty hard.

After taking him to the vet, it was confirmed that Percival's leg was broken, and the recommended response was to put him down. We didnt have it in us to do that, so the little fella went under the knife that night, and emerged healthy from the operation. Since the op he has been wearing a splint on his leg, and takes antibiotics twice a day.

The thing that amazes me the most in this is that Perry's leg would be thinner than your average drinking straw; that's one skilled surgeon operating on him. But yes, Perry's well and truly on the road to recovery and it looks like this comical saga has come to an end

10 greatest Stinson quotes.

Its been quite a while since my last blog, so I thought it was time to sweep away the cobwebs and get back in the driver's seat. I really was strapped for ideas when it came to this blog; but then I found myself thinking about my idol Barney Stinson, and the direction i was destined to take became apparent.

I've loved Barney Stinson for years and years. Within the last year or two he's developed the sort of fan base that such a character really deserves. Now, with this far bigger following comes greater pressure to perform so to speak; there's a weight of expectation to deliver again and again. Some have faltered under this added pressure, such as the makers of Jaws, when they wasted everybody's time with "Jaws: The Revenge". On the other hand, Stinson has continued to deliver gold season after season, which is why he truly is my favourite TV character. Before I list my top 10 Stinson quotes, bear in mind that half the humour is in NPH's delivery. That said, here goes:

10. Explaining the simplicity of running a marathon - "Step one, you start running. There is no step two."

9. Barney: "Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession."
Marshall: "Do you really think that’s true?"
Barney: "Oh yeah, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers an extra fish for putting out."

8. "Hi, leg warehouse? Yeah, my friend Ted needs something to stand on. So, nothing for him to stand on? Ok, thanks so much."

7. “Suits are full of joy. They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.”

6. "I know a hopeless cause when I see one, which is why I stopped recycling."

5. [flips open his cell] "This better be good, I'm about to enter Nirvana... by the way, I should give you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage--say whaaat?"

4. Referring to the first time he had sex - “That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani clad and awesome”

3. "Look around you, Lily! You are in the heart of Bachelor Country. And as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. Now, you could try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts twelve hours...fourteen if you qualify for multiple entry."

2. "Talking to a woman that you have already had sex with is like changing the oil on a rental car"

1. "Oh right, because there can be too many of something wonderful. Hey Babe Ruth, easy big fella, let's not hit too many homers. Hey Steve Gutenberg, maybe just make three Police Academy movies. America's laughed enough"

4 random things that suck.

There are a fair few things out there that suck. Heres 4.

1. sleeveless jumpers. I saw a picture of one and it really rekindled my hate for them >> http://img693.imageshack.us/i/wutc.jpg/. They look like dogshit and i doubt I've ever seen anything more heroic in my life. If it was too hot for sleeves, you could have just removed the jumper in the first place; so the only plausible reason for someone to don such an item is to get their 'cannons' out. The only positive that these ‘jumpers’ offer is that they help you to identify cockheads right away. But still, yuck.

2. Purchasing sandwiches. A sandwich at 7/11 goes for around 5.60, and they can be upwards of 7 dollars at other venues. The average loaf of bread goes for around 3 dollars, and will make you up to 15 sandwiches. For fucks sake, do the math. If you’re looking to give money away thats a different issue all together, but can I suggest world vision or something?
The other reason I dont like the idea of purchasing sandwiches is because it is so bland and uninviting. when you're at home with nothing better to eat, you eat a sandwich. when you're buying lunch, youve got the whole world at your fingertips. Endless possibilities, so many different things that aren’t available to you at home are just a transaction away. Yet there are still muppets out there who would happily revert back to a plain old sandwich. Spare me.

3. ‘Bulk buying’. I was introduced to bulk buying at a young age; tickets for my primary school cake raffle went at a dollar each, or 3 for 2 dollars. Needless to say I lapped up the 66 cent tickets, and have maintained that same trading philosophy to this day. Some places dont offer bulk buying, which is terrible practise, but their right. What really pisses me off is places that offer larger quantities at the same rate. A Good example is subway and their cookies; they are advertised at 6 for 4 dollars, or 12 for 8 dollars.
Now that makes me quite angry. Did the visionary who came up with the ‘12 for 8’ idea not realise that they were in fact offering no discount to the customer whatsoever? That when they advertised 6 for 4 dollars, 12 for 8 was implied? So the ’12 for 8’ is completely and utterly obsolete, and gives the implication that we as customers failed our 2 times tables. We didn’t, so fuck you.

4. Tautologies. To keep everyone up to speed, a tautology is a redundancy, like the ‘round circle’ or whatever. If you already knew what a tautology was, I didn’t mean to belittle you with that definition. At times tautologies can be funny, often because the person guilty of the redundancy may have no idea of the error they just made (Circa 2008 AFL season, Anthony Hudson referring to 'past history' while commentating. As opposed to future history?).
Some of these tautologies are just painful however. One that stands out in my mind lies on the front door of a pizza shop i passed the other day. The bolded advertisement read ‘Open 24 Hours 7 Days, we never close’. I’m yet to come across a place open 24/7 that closes. Note to store owner: Flaunting your stupidity is not smart advertising and will not attract prospective customers!